Milestone

This afternoon, I talked with my colleague...
He seemed so sad because of his achievements last year...
And he told me this, "Sometimes in this life, we cannot complain of what company can give us. We cannot make our company do what we wish as the company is not belong to us at all. All we can do is knowing what we want to do and what our objective is while we are employed in that company"

And that makes me thinking...what do I work for for the last three years?
The answer is unfortunately only money...since I am among the unfortunate people that must struggle for money in order to survive...
And it's really logical because according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, human needs to fulfill (in order) physiological needs, safety needs, love/belonging needs, esteem needs and self-actualization needs...

I think I'm still in the level 2 of this pyramid...while middle-aged people like me mostly have reached level 3...
In order to reach level 3, we need something that're within our reach: Love...
For me, love is the most sacred word that I haven't even had any courage to say it to any girls in this world..

Every time I met a fascinating girls, I always had this in my mind: I haven't ready yet...
Sometimes my parents critize me by telling that I must risk it all in order to have one...
That's really obvious that they are longing for their grandchildren..
But I answer them by saying : how come I can risk my future family by living in a home without building any foundation first?

I still remember a phrase in spiderman movie saying more or less like this "The stronger you are, the bigger responsibility you'll have". And I think that's what I do right now..
I can't be selfish thinking of myself even sometimes I really regret of my awareness...
Damn, if only I can be as irresponsible as any single guys in this world, doing reckless things without thinking....
Many girls seem like that kind of guys since many girls, especially beautiful ones are looking for having fun only...(that's why there lots of dumb blonde joke everywhere :P)
That's weird for me...

But nevermind, I think I cannot understand any girls at all since their actions always surprise me....
What I have in mind while saying something, they often perceive it as the opposite one, well..
So I think I must bring dictionary of myself in order to interpret my thinking while conveying it to any single girl :P

And some girls just don't think that some kind of what they think very cool action will affect their life in the future drastically...
Years later, their youth will be gone and they cannot be rejuvenated as easily as warcraft heroes..

Yeah, girls are just girls...Some of them like doing many stupid things over and over again, despite they know exactly what the consequences they will face in the end..

And yet that's life ;).
Without them, we won't see colors in this world...