The Reason

Last chrismas, I gave two gifts to two person in my office. The first person is the best chat friend in the office. I think she is really nice and deserves it.

While the other one went to the person who I really want to give. I don't know her much but many times I asked myself : would I regret if I don't give her? And the answer is a big yes. So I decided to give her as well despite of lack communication between me and her.

When I gave her, honestly I felt very awkward because I could guess she would question the reason behind my action. So I gave her in a very fast manner she could not have a chance to reject it. Well, I consider myself cheating on this, but at least my mission is complete :P.

And I was very happy when she said thank you with a big smile. It felt like I wanted to shout loudly to celebrate it. But it didn't last longer anyway.

Soon she questioned my reasoning for giving her - as I expected. And I couldn't say anything, telling her I felt awkward as well as I realized our relationship was never been too good. She said such an action would be unnecessary and she may reject it depend on the reason I have.

I can understand why she said that. The most difficult thing in our relationship is I'm still an bachelor and she has told me that she is already in relationship with other. I know she is a very attractive woman and honestly, if God gives me a chance to know her a little bit more, I think I will take it. But that maybe not the thing she wants from me. I don't know. I'm inexperienced for this, but I will try to get the answer from her in the future for sure...