Valentine history...

Do you know the real story of Valentine? I don't know whether it's only a myth or not, but here it goes :

It was said that Valentine iss a priest living in Rome on third century. He lived in Rome kingdom lead by notorious Claudius Emperor. He hate the Emperor very much because Claudius had ambition that every young people join his military army and goes to war with him.

But Claudius' willing was not obeyed by his people. Rome men hesitated to be involved in war because they didn't want to left their family and lover. This made Claudius very angry and he ordered his loyal follower to execute crazy idea.

He thought that if every men are unmarried, then they will be grateful to join his military. So Claudius forbade marriage in his kingdom. Every young couple perceived this new regulations as a mad one but they didn't dare not to obey him.

But St. Valentine, being a priest, reject his emperor order and he kept blessing young couple falling in love. He did that in a small chapel which is only lit by candles, without flower and wedding songs. His action was later known by Claudius, who immediately alarmed him to stop it. St. Valentine neglected that warning and made Claudius mad.

So shortly Claudius ordered his troops to seize St. Valentine and St. Valentine was caught in the act while blessing a young lover. The couple did manage to escape but St. Valentine was arrested. He was imprisoned and given death verdict by Claudius.

This time, it seems Claudius would win a huge victory. But St. Valentine despite in prison, got many visitor and support from them. They also often throwed flowers and messages embracing St. Valentine.

And one of Rome people who believe in love was a daughter of prison gatekeeper. The gatekeeper permitted his daughter to visit St. Valentine in prison. People said that they were talking each other hourly. That girl raised up St. Valentine's spirit by telling him that he had done the right thing.

So in the day St. Valentine will be executed, he wrote a letter for that girl thanking for all attention, caring and help while he was lonely in prison. In the end of the letter, Valentine was being said to write "With love, from your Valentine". St. Valentine was executed in the 14th day of February.

That message would be passed from one generation to the other generation to admire St. Valentine as love martyr. Now every February 14th, people all around the world will celebrate it as Valentine's day.....

Milestone

This afternoon, I talked with my colleague...
He seemed so sad because of his achievements last year...
And he told me this, "Sometimes in this life, we cannot complain of what company can give us. We cannot make our company do what we wish as the company is not belong to us at all. All we can do is knowing what we want to do and what our objective is while we are employed in that company"

And that makes me thinking...what do I work for for the last three years?
The answer is unfortunately only money...since I am among the unfortunate people that must struggle for money in order to survive...
And it's really logical because according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, human needs to fulfill (in order) physiological needs, safety needs, love/belonging needs, esteem needs and self-actualization needs...

I think I'm still in the level 2 of this pyramid...while middle-aged people like me mostly have reached level 3...
In order to reach level 3, we need something that're within our reach: Love...
For me, love is the most sacred word that I haven't even had any courage to say it to any girls in this world..

Every time I met a fascinating girls, I always had this in my mind: I haven't ready yet...
Sometimes my parents critize me by telling that I must risk it all in order to have one...
That's really obvious that they are longing for their grandchildren..
But I answer them by saying : how come I can risk my future family by living in a home without building any foundation first?

I still remember a phrase in spiderman movie saying more or less like this "The stronger you are, the bigger responsibility you'll have". And I think that's what I do right now..
I can't be selfish thinking of myself even sometimes I really regret of my awareness...
Damn, if only I can be as irresponsible as any single guys in this world, doing reckless things without thinking....
Many girls seem like that kind of guys since many girls, especially beautiful ones are looking for having fun only...(that's why there lots of dumb blonde joke everywhere :P)
That's weird for me...

But nevermind, I think I cannot understand any girls at all since their actions always surprise me....
What I have in mind while saying something, they often perceive it as the opposite one, well..
So I think I must bring dictionary of myself in order to interpret my thinking while conveying it to any single girl :P

And some girls just don't think that some kind of what they think very cool action will affect their life in the future drastically...
Years later, their youth will be gone and they cannot be rejuvenated as easily as warcraft heroes..

Yeah, girls are just girls...Some of them like doing many stupid things over and over again, despite they know exactly what the consequences they will face in the end..

And yet that's life ;).
Without them, we won't see colors in this world...

Thin line..

They say there is a thin line between love and hate..
While you are involved with someone, especially a special one, often you're confused amid these words...

You think you're in love with her but actually you hate all she does...
You think you hate her, but in reality you love being cared by her...

This is a two edge sword, you cannot hold on either side
Whichever you choose, you'll be hurt...

So in this circumstances, I just withdraw from the battle field for a moment..
If she is my soulmate, I believe no matter what I do, she'll accompany me in present and future, like what she did in the past...
Let time answer this question for eternality :)